Question
splitting up
I have a two year old baby girl. Recently her father left me for someone else. I am worried that she will be affected by this, and see my hurt. I try to hide it as best as possible, but sometimes I get really sad and start to cry. To her it must look like I am crying for no reason, or over something she has done. I feel awful about it. And I am worried what she must be thinking, or if she even notices mommy and daddy used to sleep in the same bed, and now there is someone new there. I think I need help, or at least some good advice. I could really use a friend. If I involve family members with the way I feel, they just say it is for the best...
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3 Answers
I am so sorry that is a horrible situation that you are having to deal with. Just remember that your little girl loves you and that is all that matters. You are her world so when you are feeling down just remember how much she needs you. I think that younger children seem to adjust to change pretty well. As long as you are trying thats all she can ask for.
Katrina Pulliam
Sadness is a perfectly normal, healthy emotion. If your daughter sees you crying, you could tell her that sometimes adults get sad too and that crying lets the sad out. Remind her you love her and that she always cheers you up. If you feel like your sadness is out of control or effecting your ability to caretake, I would defiitely seek a counselor. Don't worry about what she may or may not notice about the changed situation. Just keep communication open if she asks about it.
Right now you're struggling. The breakup is recent and quite raw and painful. Perfectly normal for you to break down in tears from time to time. True, your daughter might not exactly understand what's going on, but kids have a lot of empathy. She probably just doesn't like seeing you sad, but it can't be helped sometimes. Here's something positive for you: in a few years when you are back on your feet, your daughter is going to see a strong, capable mommy who can handle it all! You're going to be an amazing role model for her. Keep your chin up, you're a great mom and you're going to be fine. Don't be hard on yourself for having those perfectly human emotions...it would be more strange if you didn't have them at all!
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sleep-forum and Tri-Counties Moms, http://www.mothersclick.com/moms-club/tri-counties-moms-sb-ventura-slo-c...