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I would say it all depends on the situation. How often does she come to visit? If the visitations are a regular thing, then maybe you could compromise on something. Or how about asking your daughter if she would mind if the step-sister tags along sometimes?
I would think that no, your daughter shouldn't always have to give up her friend time. I do think that there should be "family time" though and that's when the family or the girls could spend time together.
Of course it would also depend on how often the stepsister visits and how well they get a long with to begin with.
I look at it this way: biological sisters would NOT always be expected to drop everything for each other. Each would have her own friends and interests. But there are times when family obligations can and should take precedence, like holidays or special visits. I would say it would be nice for your daughter to make some time for her younger stepsister when she's there (again, depending on how often she comes and whether it is a special occasion) but should still be able to make time for her own friends as well.
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sleep-forum and Tri-Counties Moms, http://www.mothersclick.com/moms-club/tri-counties-moms-sb-ventura-slo-c...
I have four daughters and four step-daughters that come to visit every other weekend from Indianapolis (we are in Evansville - 3 hours away). My children are at the age that they are always wanting to go to sleep over at someone else's house or have sleep overs at our house. I generally allow them to do so even when my step children are coming to visit. On occassion I will ask them to stay home if we have missed a visit and go a month without seeing their sisters. I think it's a case by case basis. They should always be allowed to have their time with their friends, but in some cases...there needs to be a time when everyone is home and together.
I would say no, unless there are problems when her friends are around. Being that she is 13 that is a sensitive age and you don't want her to resent her stepsister or feel like it is a chore to spend time with her. Maybe you can find things they can all do together this way the stepsister can build a relationship with her friends as well.
I agree that it depends a lot on the situation. Every other weekend, once a year? If it's a regular thing, I would not ask my daughter to give up her activities everytime, but if it's a rare thing I would definitely expect my daughter to help entertain the little sister, at least part of the time.
You might talk to your daughter about making an effort to include her younger sister on occasion. She could talk to her friends about it too, and then maybe they could plan an activity that includes both her friends and her sister. If any of her friends have younger sisters they could bring them too.
Maybe an afternoon at the movies, or a picnic? Or if she doesn't want to be seen in public hanging out with her little sister they could do a game day with her friends and sister. Include favorite snacks, maybe some disposable cameras, and a favorite game.
My grandkids love Triviathon. It's fun for all ages, it doesn't feel like a "kids" game and no one ends up feeling dumb. Besides answering trivia questions they have to do activities, like arm wrestling, making up cheers, etc. It really is a blast to play. I got it at www.triviathon.com. You can also get it at O. P. Taylor's in Greenville, SC.
Anyway, it's a good chance to teach your daughter about compassion and being charitable.
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no, not at all. If she isn't forced to entertain her or stick around chances are she will choose once in a while to stay home or invite friends over. Kids given respect will often come through with the right decision. If not make a rule about every 4th visit. Something not intrusive or unbearable. Its really not her issue after all.
how long is she visiting for? when family comes to visit, my kids have to spend at least 51% of that time with us. plus it depends on how often she visits. Time that must be spent with us is increased for how many times a year the guest comes. For example, if they visit once or twice a week, it's about 10%. If they only come one day out of every four months, it's about 75%. And if it's only once a year, it's about 95-99%.
Your friend,
Hailey