Selfish single mom
Hello everyone! I am a mother of a beautiful 21 month old baby girl. I'm also a single mother..have been since she was conceived. Her father has barely been around physically, but not at all financially. I'm blessed to be able to financially provide for her on my own, but there have been some rough patches. Her father seems as if he is interested in being around now, and I know that it is in her best interest, but i'm feeling like I want to keep her to myself. In my heart I know it's not the best thing, but it's hard to let go and trust him. He is over seas right now, but will be back any day now and he want's to be in her life. That is all I want, but i'm not sure how to deal with the anger about him abandoning his responsibility to begin with. What would you do? I have prayed about it, but I seem to be fine until I know he is coming around and the anger just bubbles up again. I really don't want to stop him from seeing her, and don't like drama...
Click to add these tags to your Interests:
Read more: 
4 Answers
People deal with situation differently, and sometime immaturely, but as long as he realizes that he has to take care of his responsiblities now let him in her life, I know that it may angry you and you may make you not won't him around her, but at the same time he has growed up and realized that he has a beautiful daughter that needs her in his life, so dont be bitter about it, just do it for your daughter, there is nothing like a child knowing her father. he made a mistake and he learned from it.
Thank you for your reply. I hope that he is serious and will finally take ALL of the responsibility that comes along with having a child. Only time will tell, but I will have to just work on controlling my anger. I hope that I get over it soon, I hate the way anger can make you feel. I'm a lover not a fighter, but I still have to be strong, set boundaries. Thanks again, and keep me in your thoghts!
Its understandable that you would feel that way. You have to remember that when she gets older he may be around like it or not. This is when she will look back and decide if she likes the way you delt with the situation. If you know something is in her best interest and choose not to do it anyway, she will know.
At her current age it is not like he will start out with taking her over night or whole weekends. He has not been involved with her to this point and I am assuming knows nothing about her. So once he gets back you are most likely looking at 1 o 3 hour visits every couple weeks. At this point you really are not required to share much.
If he is in service overseas I would assume that is what sparked his interest in involvement with his daughter. What if something happens to him while he is over there. Your little girl is all he is leaving behind of himself. Once he gets back, starts to visit and realized the commitment and responsibility a child is it may be very likely that he will fall back into the rare involvement he practiced before.
Take it one step at a time and see what happens.