Question
only one child
I just had my daughter 3 months ago, and my husband and I are thinking that she might be the only child. Any thoughts?
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Read more: I just had my daughter 3 months ago, and my husband and I are thinking that she might be the only child. Any thoughts?
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6 Answers
If it's right for you, don't fret. Just don't make any firm decisions just yet. I'd wait a couple years before deciding for sure. (just a question, but how many did you want before you had her? Is it just since you had her that you've been thinking this? What made you come to this decision?)
Anita Burnham
www.anitaburnham.com
Your Daughter is only 3 months. I think it's too early for you to be making any perminent decisions yet. Take your time now to enjoy all the newness and firsts you're going to experience with her. Don't think about making a decision on more children right now. The first year goes by in a blurr...try to LIVE in each moment instead of adding to your stress. After a year or 2 then you can make a more rational decision on adding to your family or not.
My husband and I decided not to have anymore but there were many factors to consider and base our decision on. We've been together for 10 years and he has 2 daughters from his previous marriage. They are 15 and 11, our daughter is 3. I'm 35 and he is 44. We considered his age, the size of our house, financial situations, age differences between the sisters, my low tolerance for sleep deprivation, etc... All of the discussions we had about having more children leaned more towards NOT having more. We are very happy with our home and don't want to move, but don't have any more room for another child. Financial situations are going to be changing soon with my oldest going into college in 2 years. Add 2 more college educations on top of that time frame when most people are preparing for retirement. I could go on but like I said...there were MANY things to consider with our family when making that decision.
Your family will have other situations to consider when the time is right. The first year of your first child's life is not the time to make that decision. Enjoy this time because it goes by way too fast. After you wipe the 1st birthday cake off your daughters face, hair and your walls, then you can take your time to discuss having more children with your husband.
Smile, it increases your face value!
Jodi
Smile, it increases your face value! :)
Jodi
My daughter will turn 5 this September. I don't remember when it solidified in my mind that she would be the only one, but it was very early on - I think the idea began to stew while I was still pregnant! I disagree with the mom who told you it is too early to decide on having only one child. When you know, you just know. My daughter completes me, and her father agrees that our family is complete. We love her dearly, and feel that in our family, nothing is lacking. As a bonus, I feel the individual love and attention we give our "only" has contributed to the fact that she is gifted. She could read right after her third birthday, and she delights in learning (with no pressure from us or other family members). We have been pressured by "well meaning" friends and my mom-in-law to have a sibling so she will have someone to play with, but manufacturing children for the sake of having a buddy is silly. The world is already overpopulated, and the more people on it, the more waste is created. Of course, that is only a fraction of my thinking - having a baby for your baby is NOT a good reason to bring another child into the world. Just enjoy your little one - soak up every moment, and commit those precious memories to your heart. I know people who go on having children to recapture and relive those moments, but if you truly enjoy them the first time around, the memories will stay with you just as long as a subsequent child would. Good Luck!!!+
It is your (and your hubby's) decision whether to have another child or not, so no one should influence your decision in any way. (I personally have an 18 year old son and 15 year old daughter.) I understand that there are many reasons why parents choose to only have one child. You must do what you feel is best for your family. I can only offer the flip side of it based on my own personal experience. I was an only child and my fiance was an only child. From the only child perspective, I hated it. So did Chuck (my fiance). Two of my friends from childhood were only children and they did not like it as well. I think the older you get in life, the worse you don't like being an only child. Just my thoughts.
I know a few people who are only children and loved it and one who hated it. I also know there can be valid reason that people must choose to have only one child. I have only one and have decided to capitalize on the benefits and be creative to make sure that my son has close relationships with other children. Lots of people who have siblings do not have good relationships with them. Blood does not always constitute family. We can forge close and loving families with people who we do have good relationships with, regardless of blood. Ultimately we use the cards we're dealt and put forth our best game possible. If for you that means an only child, then God Bless you and yours.
I am an only child and never found it to be an issue until my thirties. I kind of wish I had a sister or brother now more than ever, but too late. I only think about it during the holidays. I loved my life as an only child when I was growing up though.
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Ambajam is who I am and who I am is Ambajam!
Baby Clothes by Ambajam
http://www.ambajam.com
http://blog.ambajam.com