new sibling for a one year old
I recently discovered I am pregnant again am expecting the new baby to enter my daughter's life when she is about 13 months old. All the advice I can find about preparing first borns for the birth of a sibling assumes your first born is a toddler. What if they're not?! What if they can't talk with you about the arrival of a new sibling - either before or after the big event? How do they tend to react? And how you can help ensure your pre-verbal child does not feel displaced by the arrival or her sibling?
Any adivce you can give me on this along with more general adivce on how on earth I might practically cope with two such little ones would be really appreciated....! I notice from the website that I'm not alone in this predicament and in feeling slightly daunted by it.... Thanks.
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5 Answers
HI my kids are 12 months apart. I gave my oldest a doll before the second came and tried to teach him what "gentle" meant. When it came closer to delivering, I put the doll in the basinet in our room (where the baby would be sleeping). My oldest didn't really care too much once my second got here. As long as he was getting attention, he was fine. YOu will love having kids so close in age. Now that my second is mobile, they play together a lot and I know it will only get better and they will be best friends. The disadvantage is nap time because it is hard to get the littlest one to sleep with a toddler running around. Congratulations. It can be tough at times having them so close when they are at a young age but it is worth it.
JL
Hello, my daughters are 16 mos apart and when I was pregnant the second time I tried my best to explain to my daughter that she was going to have a sibling. She was really to young to understand the concept of a sibling but she did want to know why my stomach was so big ("what's that" was her only phrase at the time). They are now 27 and 10 months old and they love each other like you wouldn't believe my oldest never seemed jealous she always wanted to help and I let her as much as possible. Give the older child as may "jobs" as they can handle like getting diapers for the baby or handing you the pacifier or getting a bib it helps them to feel useful and as they get older and taller it really comes in handy that they know where things are in the house and can get things for you when your hands are full and believe me they will be full. Also make sure you have the most convenient double stroller you can find. I have the Phil and Teds double and couldn't live without it it fits through every doorway and more importantly down every mall aisle.
I think the idea of teaching "gentle" is a big one. My son was still pretty rough with everything when his little sister was born. Make sure you show him exactly what gentle means. And don't freak out when they are around the baby. Then they'll tend to stay away from them. Get them involved with holding diapers, pulling the wet wipe out of the box, etc. It makes them really proud. My 13 month old is really starting to like dolls, so that might make it easier to explain. Bathing, feeding, clothing, putting it in the crib, etc.
Christine Wadleigh (nathan and abigail's mom)
Christine (Nathan and Abigail's mom)
My girls are 18 months apart and when the baby was born I had my older one help with diapers. She also would help me hold the bottle too. She could care less that there was another kid in the house!! It's really alot eaiser then you think it might be. My kids happened to poop at the same time all the time, so I just had an assembly line when changing them! It will work out fine, just except to be exhausted for the first few months! But you will get a system down!
Erin Y.
Erin Y.
My two oldest girls are two yrs apart. Before I went to the hosp I bought my oldest a cabbage patch primi doll and put it in my bag. When she came to visit her new sister she was presented a "baby" of her own to take care of and we brought them home together. She rocked and fed her baby in a rocking chair next to mine. It helped to keep her busy like mom, she responded well and she was always kind and gentle to her sister.