Question
How do I get my son to stop hitting me?
Every time my son gets angry or doesn't get what he wants he hits and smacks me. Tonight he actually grabbed a brush and hit me in the back with it because he didn't want to take a bath. I don't know what to do anymore with him. I have tried timeout, sending him to his room, spanking, and even creating a box out of gates so he can't escape timeout. Nothing is working. I have been taking away his toys but that just seems to make him even more mad and hit more. He is two years old and I don't know if this is a normal 2 year old this or what. Please help me!
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6 Answers
They don't call them terrible twos for nothing! This behavior is not abnormal by any means. Twos are when kids really start testing parents, thus the term "terrible twos." I know that you have said that you have tried a number of different tactics. My question would be how consistent have you been with those tactics? Consistency is the key to any discipline approach. I often tell parents that kids are little scientist trying to poke holes in our parenting theories. They are looking for the ONE time that we don't do what we normally do which makes them say "AHA! My mom doesn't ALWAYS put me in the corner for time out when I hit." Then they keep testing that theory.
Here's what I would suggest: The minute he hits, you say with a stern and strong voice "No hit!" and put him in time out. Where you do the time out is up to you, but I suggest that you do it in an area in a different room. When my kids went through this phase, I put them in their room and shut the door. They were able to come out when they had stopped crying/screaming.
Here are the keys to remember:
I hope this helps! This is a tough age, but if you can be consistent, you will get through this and your child will know that you mean what you say and you say what you mean. Best of luck to you!
The Mentor Mom, www.thementormom.com
The Mentor Mom, www.thementormom.com
I agree with Mentormoms reply. I would like to add an analogy that I have always used with my kids. It is simular to the the scientist one used above. I picture us(the parents) as the wall and the kids as the ball. They are always bounceing against is trying to get past us but we are a WALL and they just bounce right off!
Don't give up. Do be consistant and realize that you would be doing him an injustice by letting him get away with hitting you or any other behaivior he comes up with that is harmful to himself or others. You must stop this now. You obviously realize this because you asked for advice, but I just want to encourage
you to keep it up.
One other thing, and this is probably the hardest part, keep the anger out of it. Try and show him disaproval but not anger. To a 2 year old, especially one with a temper,that can be frightening. It also may feed his own rage.
Good luck to you!!!
Your a great mom!
Simple.
If you don't want him hitting you, don't hit him.
"How are we going to teach our children it is not okay to hurt others when we keep hurting them?"
I agree with everyone although I think your absolute last resort was to hit him because you probably already know what Jane411 said. But consistency is definitely the key. He will learn eventually and keeping the anger out of it will work wonders because you won't be returning an emotional response to him. It will be more matter of fact which I believe will help him to determine that if I hit I go to time out...I don't like time out and so on...
Stay focused and loving!
Good luck!
my son does the same thing only he is about to be 4. when he gets mad or throws a temper tantrum he always hits me. i pop him on his hand or spank him but he will still hit me. after his temper tantrum is over i will tell him why do you hit mommy when your mad? and he has no memory of hitting me, he says i didnt hit u mommy, when i tell him yes you did you hit mommy in the leg or you tried to punch me he looks at me with this confused look and says sorry. im afraid when he has the fits that something blocks out in his brain and im afraid if he keeps on that one day he gonna get mad and do something bad and not know he did it. do i need to see a doctor for this or what. he knows better than to hit me and his dad says that when he throws a temper tantrum around him he doesnt try to hit him or his stepmom, its only with me.
~*~Ofelia Sosa~*~
These are definitely terrible twos. All of my children went through a similar rough patch at about 2. Tantrums and the like are normal 2 year old behavior, but the hitting has to stop. I agree with one of the previous commentors. Consistency is the number one key to stopping tantrums and misbehavior in kids. You have to always respond the same way. If you do that with patience everytime, his behavior has to get better. Also, you can not allow your emotions to hinder your consistency. We as mothers tend to allow our emotions to stop us from being consistent with our discipline(that's why many times dad gets more respect than us moms). I experienced this with my children. They would give me a hard time but when dad came around, they changed. I noticed that dad was the common denominator. He was always consistent. They knew if they misbehaved w/dad that he would always discipline, when with me they might not get disciplined or at least they would after my telling them to stop a multitude of times. There's a great ebook that I downloaded that helped me a bit, gave a straight forward, easy to understand method and tools to help curb that misbehavior in my kids. If you want more information, you're welcomed to check out a free bonus on it at my links below. I hope this help and I pray that you and your son find a solution
Nekiwa
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