Question
HELP!! Abby is getting worse!!
My 5 mos old nursing co sleeper is waking every hour (or more) to latch on to the breast and then go right back out. She will not take the pacifier or anything as a substitute. Her night wakings are continuing to increase in frequency and I am sleep deprived and frustrated. We were going to begin the transition to her own bed (as this was supposed to be a temporary sleeping arragement that has lasted 3 months). But, she won't sleep for more than 10 mins in her own bed.
This morning about 5:30, I put the swing in our room and she slept until 10:30 this morning! Is it safe to continue to let her sleep in there? Is this creating another problem? Will transition to her own bed be harder?
I am SO TIRED 
HELP!!
Jen
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5 Answers
Jen,
I don't have any advice about whether to leave her in the swing, although I'm sure it's safe (other moms might have advice as to whether it will make it harder to transition Abby to her own bed). I will say, though, that if you are serious about getting her out of your bed now, you will just need to be consistent and tough it out for probably several nights. I remember once reading that it can take up to 30 nights for anything new to take, so your patience will definitely be put to the test!
The first thing you need to do, though, is take a deep breathe and decide if you really are ready to get her out of your bed. The reason this is so important is that you could easily end up going back and forth (putting her in her bed for a few nights, then caving and letting her come in yours) which I believe DOES make it harder down the road (we did this and are still paying the price). If you are truly ready, then you will just need to put her back in her crib every time she wakes up, comforting her however you think is appropriate. Eventually she will adjust. Consistency is key.
Keep in mind two things: 1. All babies wake up several times a night. Some are better at soothing themselves back to sleep than others. (Hint: usually the ones who can do this are the ones who have not been co-sleeping!) But they are all capable of learning it at any age, it just takes time and patience on your part. 2. She is used to sleeping next to your warm body, so of course she's missing you when she wakes up. Make sure she is warm enough in her bed (use a sleep sack or just put a long-sleeved t-shirt and leggings under a pair of footie pjs, and always put on socks, etc.) You can try wearing a t-shirt to bed one night and then leaving it in her crib so she has your smell near her too.
Finally, if you are NOT ready to move her into her crib, that's fine too. Do not let outside forces/opinions sway you if it's what you and your husband believe is best. And then you can try night weaning if her constant feedings continue. But I wouldn't try that until she's eating solids and you can make sure she has a full tummy before bed. (Night weaning is basically teaching her that night-time is not the time for nursing. In simplest terms, you more or less physically block her from nursing by putting your hand over your breast, turning your back to her, etc. Too much detail to go into now but feel free to send me a note if you want more info.) Whatever you decide, be confident in your decision and just stick with it. It will all work out! This does NOT last forever, no matter how it feels right now.
Good luck!
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sleep-forum
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sleep-forum and Tri-Counties Moms, http://www.mothersclick.com/moms-club/tri-counties-moms-sb-ventura-slo-c...
I KNOW SOMEPEOPLE DONT BELIEVE IN LETTING THERE BABY CRY IT OUT , BUT IT WORKS MY 5 MONTH OLD GOES TO SLEEP ON HIS OWN EVERYTIME AND SLEEPS ALL NIGHT IN HIS ROOM.
IT ONLY TOOK HIM ABOUT 2 NIGHTS OF CRYING FOR ABOUT 30 MIN TO GET IT DOWN. MOST EVERY NIGHT HE SLEEPS AT LEAST 4-6 HRS AT ATIME.
I NOT PUSHING THIS ON YOU IM JUST SHARING MY STORY. I KNOW SOME PEOPLE MAY NOT AGREE AND THATS OK.
GOOD LUCK!!!
TIgsMOm07
Thanks ladies. We are making progress. We started the transition to her own room. She is doing well most nights. Last night was a good night (except that when she got up at 5, she wanted to play and talk...). If she is having a terrible night, I bring her back to our bed - which doesn't seem to help her sleep any better, but alleviates me going to get her every little bit. I am getting some very much needed long periods of uninterrupted sleep (3 to 4 hours at a time!). It was a little hard on me at first - I really missed her.
But we are both adjusting and she seems to be sleeping much better in her crib than she was in our bed. Some nights are still tough but we are doing better! I think she was just ready, as we have had failed attempts in the past. And we are doing it with no crying (thanks to Pantley's book/strategies). Thanks for your comments and support. I love the opportunity to share thoughts and struggles with other moms! THANK YOU!!
finally...
Jen
P.S. We are still struggling with nap time though... she will only stay asleep for 45 min at a time...
(also in her crib with same night time sleep cues)
Any thoughts on why this is different?
Hello,
I just started on this site and I empathize with you greatly. My now 61/2month old was not the best sleeper, day or night. I'm not sure this book will help now, but it might not hurt, "the happiest baby on the block" by Dr harvy karpp primarily focuses on newborns to 3months of age but I found the advice has helped to instil some routine and made the transition of basinet/cosleeper (I could no longer take the frequent requests to feed and my brain was so tired I could no longer keep track of when he was actually feeding" to crib sleeper-sleeping from 10pm-12am last feed to 330am-630am feed (there have been interupstions like sickness and a weekend trip that interupted this, so its not perfect, and I have had to get up the last few nights to rock him back to sleep without feeding him. Also, I don't think I could have started this fuller night sleep until he was started food). The main points are 1. swaddle, tightly wrapping flalling (please ignore spell, it is not my fortay...) limbs from waking the babes up-i found a sturdy cotton sheet helped rather than the usual square blankets, as they are not big enough- first both arms, then one are out and now we are working on both arms out at naps. 2. swaying/rocking to sleep, first to put them fully to sleep and then working on putting them to bed drowsy to learn to sleep on their own-we are slowly making progress here-but he is stubborn. He only used to sleep for 20-40min on his own at one time, but now naps are as long as 2hrs, though sometimes he requires breastfeeding inbetween.-making sure he is well burped also helps(he has gone through a phase where just after eating he detests side lying so we bounced him upright). 3 side lying (only while rocking as babies should be put to bed on their back) 4. sucking-I feel for you, I would not survive if he did not take to the pacifier. 5.shushing or white noise which personally I have not had great success with but many others have. rather i got in the habit of putting classical music on while rocking him to sleep. Now his crib mobile has some tunes we use for nap time that he is finding soothing, and distracting.
all the best,
I really know how you feel and am working on perfecting this improved sleep time
Patty