Question
Having Kids close in age
I have a 3 year old daughter and a 5 month old daughter and just found out I am 7 weeks pregnant. Absolutely not planned. My husband does not want to keep the pregnancy because he said it will be too difficult. I am so confused and so torn. I don't know what to do or what the answer is. Is having kids so close together that difficult? Will my oldest one suffer? Just the thought of his wishes makes me unbearably upset.
His concerns are.. what my employer will do/think, what we will do for day care - his mother currently has both 3 days a week and 1- 5 days a week while the older one is in a preschool...I am the primary income for our family.
I wish I had the answers...
Anyone ever been in this position?
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17 Answers
That's wonderful news. I for one am so glad to hear that he's coming around. A child who is welcomed by two loving parents is lucky indeed. I totally understand about not wanting to share too much with family and friends. I go through that too. The people who love us are biased toward us anyway, and if they think we are being wronged they just go into protective mode.
Anyway, good for you and thanks for sharing your good news. I love how you say you are having your husband fixed.
Mom2levi, I am so sorry to hear of the hard times you went through. I don't know what to say except that I hope someone in your life told you it wasn't your fault! You are obviously a loving mom and you wanted that child as well...I hope knowing that you would never willingly hurt a hurt helps you a little bit. I can't even imagine what you went through, and are still going through. You are a survivor!
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sleep-forum
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sleep-forum and Tri-Counties Moms, http://www.mothersclick.com/moms-club/tri-counties-moms-sb-ventura-slo-c...
If anyone is checking back...we are having a boy!!!
Congrats! And just let me say that your husband will be so glad that you guys are having a son-he won't be able to contain his excitement once he gets here.
Anita Burnham
www.anitaburnham.com
Anita Burnham
www.anitaburnham.com
Hey this is Pam, the one that has an 8 year old and 15 mth old and 5 mth old. I am so glad that you and your husband are working things out in regards to the baby boy. I am so happy for you. My husband was in shock when I told him also, but we got through and now everyone in the family is having a blast with two little ones and boy are they characters with each other and the way they react! Your family is so very blessed and I am glad that your family is working through this. It will all work out in the end. Sometimes all it takes is that one special look from the babies/children! Again, I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and he is a happy baby boy. If ya lived closer to me I would give you my little boys clothes! When are you due? Have a wonderful, wonderful Mothers Day!!!!!
If you ever check this, sorry to comment so late, and I know you already had the little boy by now. Congratulations and I hope things are working out well. I felt I had to comment due to the fact that while my husband was never trying to convince me to not have the children I have had three children and am currently pregnant with the fourth all within just over 3 years. The oldest turned 3 a couple months ago, the youngest is almost 1. My first two were 11 months apart the next 14 and this last one will be born when the youngest is about 16 months. It is hard to deal with, but alot of fun ad I have great hopes that the children will be very close to each other as they grow up. If possible email me or post back here to let me know how things are going for you now.
My kids are not that close together but they are some what close. look at it this way, by the time your new baby will be born, your 5 month old will be around a year old. Probably walking. I have two daughters. Sometimes it is hard but you learn to make the most of it.
Your oldest daughter will not suffer. My oldest daughter used to get jealous alot when my youngest was born. But then I explained to her that the new baby was a part of our family and she could have so much fun with a new little sister. I didn't make her feel like she was being replaced. So when my youngest daughter would sleep, I'd have one on one time with my oldest for Mommy and me time. Now that she is getting older, she loves being the big sister. And she tries to teach her little sister how to do things.