Now that I am 2 1/2 years into this, my biggest complaint about all the parenting books is that they present the whole sleep issue as if there are only two ways to approach it: let them sleep in your bed of let them cry it out! Boy do I wish I'd learned more before I let my daughter sleep in our bed for 18 months before finally trying to teach her to sleep in her own bed. It doesn't have to go to either extreme. We are still working on this a year after starting the process! (My daughter, unlike the kids of the bashoe and ibneaters, is not mellow; I won't go into too much detail, but her intensity has probably made the whole thing harder for me.)

My biggest advice to you, and I have learned this the hard way, is to be consistent. Once you've made the decision, don't back down and say "oh maybe just for one night it's okay to let him sleep in the bed." This will teach him that the rules are flexible and that all he has to do is find the right level of fussiness or crying that will make you change your mind. It's an extremely valuable tool to put into a child's hands! (It's probably okay to let him come in with you at a certain time in the morning, for a nice cuddle before you really wake up. But it should be the same every day.)

I totally agree, though, that you don't have to let your baby cry. Letting him fuss, toss and turn, etc. will allow him to learn how to soothe himself back to sleep. (And boy do I wish I'd started letting this happen sooner!) Letting him cry, though, just teaches him not to trust you. Once he starts crying, pick him up or comfort him in whatever way you wish (you might not want to nurse if you want him to sleep through the night), then when he's almost asleep leave the room again (or just go back to your bed if his crib is in your room). Do it consistently, and he will learn to go to sleep without you, not crying himself to sleep, just gently drifting off in his own way.

SAHM in SF Bay Area

It's not so much that you "shouldn't" nurse him through the night, it's just that he may sleep better if you don't (which means you may all sleep better). I let my daughter nurse at night until, again, about 18 months. But it got to a point where she'd wake up constantly, and none of us were getting any sleep. By that point, it's harder to break the habit. At your son's age, he doesn't really need to nurse at night for calories, he's just doing it for comfort. There's nothing wrong with providing that comfort if you want to, but if it starts interfering with everyone's sleep it can be really, really rough. You may not have this problem if your son is mellow; again, my daughter is very, very intense and I'm convinced that has colored her sleeping patterns almost as much as the habits we've established.

You could consider a bottle, but you may not really need to. One trick I used when I was "night weaning" my daughter was to give her a little snack just before bed. Maybe some graham crackers or some apple slices with peanut butter (if he's eating that yet). But she was older so a bottle might work for you.

One book you might consider: "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Preschoolers and Toddlers." The author is very sensitive to co-sleeping and the issues that arise from it. She has great suggestions for making the transition to the crib or bed.

One last word: I don't believe any sleep arrangement is "wrong." What's important is how well it works for your family, being consistent, and everyone getting a good night's sleep. Good luck!

SAHM in SF Bay Area

Good for you Bashoe. You have to go with your instinct. (And the routine you have going right now doesn't sound bad at all, at least you are getting some good stretches of sleep. And as you said, it works for YOU and that's all that really matters.) Remember, if it does get difficult to have your son in your bed, as it did for me with my daughter, you can always change your routine later. I can't say it enough, though: whenever you decide to make a change, just be sure you are consistent. Good luck!

Oh, and your doc probably told you no cereal because the baby doesn't know he's getting extra calories that way. There's a link between putting cereal in the bottle and children being overweight because they can't judge when to stop drinking (but when the child has GERD, that's a bigger concern and the benefits outweigh the risks).

SAHM in SF Bay Area