Question
Feedback on Seperation
Hello all I am a 27 year old mother of 2 little girls and have recently found out that my husband has been sextexting other woman. THis is not the first time we both agreed that we are not happy together at this time and that he should move out. Now he has just told me that he dosent love me and that he dosent want to work on anything, Ok fine I now wonder what I am supposed to do now I havent worked in 3 1/2 Years as I have been home with my babies. So I was wondering if anyone has any idea where to start cause im all foggy!!
Thanks a ton ladies
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3 Answers
meldel: Any past job experiences could help you in finding any job suited to you. When I hadn't worked in awhile after my son was born I just went anywhere and ended up finding a job. There are alot of state programs out there to help you. So you could try to go to social services and they can help you out with all sorts of things; from child care assistance to also helping pay for utilities. Also don't forget about child support. I'm kicking myself now because I never got it. Just keep your head up. Things will definetly get better.
meldel
I'm so sorry... I am a twin mom, age 26, and I found my husband sextexting a girl from work, but my story turned out much worse.
He soon left me (the twins were 3 months old) to live in hotels and I found he was having a sexual relationship with this girl.
It went on for months, him barely seeing me and the kids, and he was also an abusive husband and his violence when he saw me was much worse, as I couldn't help but fight with him about this girl and ask him to give her up and come home.
Eventually I had to file a restraining order and that was the final straw which led him to move out of state with his girlfriend. And I have heard him yelling and hitting her and telling her he hates her already.
I would be cautious of your husband's infidelity, where there's smoke, there's fire.
Also, if he moves out, its not usually a step which causes him to regret his wrongdoing, nor does it often send a msg to him that you don't tolerate it... it just makes it easier for him to go further with this girl, gives him an easy location, and a reason "we were separated, so it doesn't count".
If you really want to work on things, and so does he, seek counseling while he's still living in the house.
I wish you luck in the job search!!
If your children are under school age, the Court will consider that in terms of child support and should allow you a period of time to get back into the work force and or finish your education to procur a better job if that applies in your situation. Get an attorney immediately and file for pendente lite relief (temporary custody/child support order). In fact, there is no need for him to even be aware of you taking these steps prior to being served. Most of all, remember: In the big scheme of things, this isn't about you or him; this is about your children and taking care of them! Stay strong and focused and be prepared for him having a change of heart when he sees what it's going to cost him, which is quite possible! You deserve better and so do your girls! Take care!