early potty training
Hi there, I'm a SAHM and after a lot of reading I've decided to try to give potty training a go a little early for my daughter (14 months). Basically, the consensus amongst what I've read is that there's no harm in trying early as long as you don't let yourself get frustrated if it doesn't work out. Here's my big concern, though: my daughter doesn't talk, not English anyways!!! I know this could be a good reason not to proceed, but what if it takes SEVERAL more months for her to do so??? Should I just not even bother until she can talk? She does show all of the appropriate signs that she does NOT have a speech problem, and otherwise she's a very bright kid: she copies, plays pretend, babbles "sentences", and even brushes her own teeth... Am I silly to even bother???
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12 Answers
The biggest reason parents start potty training early is because their child can communicate at a young age. When a baby is telling you "i need a new diapey please" or "i'm wet," or even respond "yes" or "no" (and understand the difference) when you ask if it's time to go potty, THEN it's time to start the potty training, no matter how young your baby is.
You may be ready, but your daughter probably isn't. With the communication barrier you have, it will be a struggle if you tried potty training now.
Be patient. It will be MUCH easier when your daughter can communicate with you. Maybe that's something you can work on now - getting her to talk- instead of potty training.
Hope this helps
MamaHall
MamaHall
My daughter started using the potty at 13 months. She didn't have big vocabulary at that point, but she used other means to tell me that she had a wet diaper that needed changing, or that she was about to go potty. (Tugging at her diaper, pointing to her bottom, squatting). She was also showing an interest in using the potty (trying to copy me when she was in the bathroom with me; standing by the door of the bathroom when she needed to pee; etc.) I simply put a potty seat in the bathroom and let her tell me when she needed to go. Other than that, I didn't try to push her at all. She's 19 months now, and uses the potty about half of the time, but still wets her diapers at times throughout the day, too. We are still not pushing her to do more than she's ready for, so we're in no hurry to get her out of diapers until she shows that she's ready.
If your daughter is showing no spontaneous interest in the potty, and not communicating when she is about to fill her diaper, then I would encourage you to wait to start potty training until those signals are clear. She doesn't need to verbalize her urge with words like potty, pee, or poop. But she needs to be able to recognize the urge to go, and communicate that to you clearly.
If she does give you those kinds of cues, and you decide to move forward, I would recommend letting her set the pace at this point. Make the potty available, show her what it's for and how to use it, and tell her that whenever she needs to go potty, she can tell you and you'll help her. Then let her tell you when she wants to try. If she seems to need some encouragement, you can take her in the bathroom when you go and have her sit and try on her potty while you use the "big" toilet.
Good luck!
I have been putting my daughter on the potty since she was 9mo. I can tell when she is going to, instead of waiting for her to wet herself and change a diaper I just put her on there, and she goes. You may want to start slowly, get a potty put it in the bathroom and have her sit on it when you are in there too. There are a ton of books out there on the subject. If you are ready and have the patience give it a go and see how your daughter responds, you will know if she isn't going for it. If that is the case, wait a couple of months and try again.
Good Luck!!
I'd like to thank the last two posters, as we're in almost the exact same situation: 14 month old boy who has an extreme interest in the using the toilet. Sometimes I'm able to see the signs (since he doesn't verbalize), sometimes not. I'd read from more than one source that there's usually a "magic window" of opportunity with toilet training, and that if you miss it things will be much harder later on...which of course, leaves me a little paranoid! But I'm ready to work at his pace.
You can bring a child to the potty, and they will get used to the habit, but until they are physiologically aware of the sensation of having to go they cannot truly be potty trained. Take advantage of the fact your child is willing to sit on the potty, but if she doesn't seem to make the effort herself don't get frustrated, it may just mean she can't yet recognize the physical feeling. Good luck.
My son was potty trained at an early age. The BM's came first, by 18 months he would consistenly use the toilet. Urinating took a bit longer, but by the time he was 2 years old there weren't any more diapers!! Many children communicate their need to use the toilet in different ways, some verbal, some gestures, others a combination of both. I work with special needs children, most of whom do not have any language but are toilet trained. You just have to look for the subtle signs and go from there.
Some experts say 27 months is average to start training. If your child is brite and seems willing to use the potty then it doesn't sound silly. Just don't show her your frustration when she doesn't go. It may take longer since she is younger...Just don't give up. My girl is 15 months and she has used hers every morning since 12 months. Its a routine...And she looks forward to it.
Every child is different and there is no harm in testing the waters to see if she is ready. Don't push her though and be extra patient. If after a few days or a week she just isn't getting it AT ALL then back off and wait a few more months. We tried potty training our son when he was 20 months (and of course boys do take longer and can be harder to train) and he just screamed when we would put him on the potty so we stopped and have just started again 10 days ago since he is now a little over 2. It's going much better this time around.
you may not have heard of this, it's also called ec or natural hygiene, there are a couple really good books on the subject. I have six kids and didn't learn about it until my last who was 'potty' trained by 4 months. It's a pretty in depth subject, here are a couple links for more info. Really, it was so much easier than I imagined and my baby really was diaper free. Even in public. It was really great. It's about noticing those little cues that your baby/toddler is putting off like wiggling or just waking up and using the potty. Babies are really easy, because we found that because they mostly just nurse and sleep, peeing and pooing was usually the first thing we did, so, by the time my son was just a couple months old he knew what the potty was for so when I put a little potty under him he would pee or poo if he had to, and I really learned his 'cues' and was able to recognize when he had to go. Our family thought we were crazy at first, but it worked so well, even my mother in law was excited to put the potty under him and watch him go. up until the early 1900's most mothers understood these methods, and it's used around the world too.
EC links wikipedia
natural family online links
Every child is different and will be ready for the potty at different times. I see no harm at all in introducing your lil girl to the potty. I have a son just turned 3 and my daughter will be 2 in July. As everyone has heard boys and girls are very different--and they werent' lieing. I first introduced Brady to the potty at 18 months and he was not the least bit interested in it. As a new mother I was walking in the dark anyway b/c I had no idea what I was doing. Everyone said to just put him on the potty every so often, but he and I were both frustrated b/c nothing ever happened. So I quit. About a year later, I tried again. This time, I had him run around the house naked for a while, so he could see what pee-pee meant when I asked him to do it. It requied a lil carpet cleaner, but I think it helped him to understand what I wanted from him. Then, his cousin who is 5 months older who was pretty much potty trained, came over to spend the night. When Brady saw Luke being a big boy, Brady wanted to be a big boy too. Three days of naked training, then 3 days of underwear training (when I put undies on him, he thought it was a green light to soil himself as he always had his whole life) and we were out of diapers! UNDERWEAR--not pull ups! Pull ups are just glorified diapers and if the child can have an accident without being uncomfortable then they will have accidents whenever something more interesting is happening. Once the child understands what you want and can show signs of holding his pee, I firmly believe it's time. GIRLS--I tried my daughter at 18 mths--no go. Then at 20 mths, she, who can't speak, came to me tugging on her diaper and eventually got it off, heading for the big toilet. She pointed, I put her on it, she grunted but nothing happened. That was all the sign I needed though, and we started the naked training so she could learn the sensation of going pee pee. For her it was only about a day if that. Then a day of underwear training. CAKE. She still has accidents; some days are great while other days not so much. Children want to do what they want to do and if going to the potty gets in the way of fun, then they will not go potty. So be firm and consistant. My son goes all by himself all the time now, but my daughter still needs reminding some of the time( only a month trained) but no more diapers!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck