Question
Baby putting herself to sleep
My 4 month old will only go to sleep while she nurses.
She is my fourth baby and this is the same habbit my other three developed so I can see where this is heading.
Hours of endless nurseing and night wakenings because the boob isn't there!
I sure would appreciate someones advice here!
Thanks!
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8 Answers
I definitely have my opinion about this subject. I know other moms don't always agree, but I've found it best for all (baby and mom) to find a way to get your baby to fall asleep on his own.
I did this with both of my kids and we all slept, and continue to sleep well. In fact, my younger one started sleeping through the night before 2 months old!
Yes, some tears are involved, but in the long run, they are gaining a skill that will help them throughout their childhood. I basically put the baby to bed (in their own crib) when they show signs of getting sleepy, and let them fall asleep. After a couple of days, they pretty much get to sleep without shedding a tear.
Good luck
I agree with yogamom. But, I have to say, I started this from the very beginning. So, I'm sure it would be much harder if you were breaking a pattern. My pattern with both of mine was: baby wakes up, baby eats, baby has awake time, baby sleeps. So, they always woke up hungry, and fell asleep because they were tired from being alert/playing.
I have always had great sleepers and having a good "schedule" I guess from the beginning is part of what has shaped that I'm sure. That being said, you still have to listen to your "mommy instinct". I have never believed in denying your child something just for the sake of a schedule. You have to allow some flexibility as you find the habits that will work best for you both.
Good luck!
Yogamom-
When you say of course some tears will be shed... are you talking about for 2 or 3 minutes or 2 or 3 hours? I have a 2 month old. He sleeps in a bassinet at the foot of our bed since birth. I would like to move him next door to his own room and his crib. He has two sleep patterns that he toggles back and forth. One being that he'll wake every 2-3 hours and the 2nd is when his first stretch of the night is between 4-5 hours and then every 2 hrs after that. Right now he's on the 1st pattern - not the most fun. He usually just nurses and then goes back to sleep. However, sometimes we put him in our bed usually by 5 am he's in bed with us until we get up. I think he gets upset sometimes when I put him back down in the bassinet rather then with us though. I haven't tried letting him cry for longer then 2 minutes and I'm not sure how long he'd go for if I let him. He won't usually calm down just by my touch or voice either- he usually needs to be held in order the stop crying. If I just talk with him or comfort him w/out holding him he calms down, but then screams again as soon as I stop. I won't let him cry it out until he is at least 4 months, and I really don't want to at all. However, if I ever want him in his own room and in his crib...I'm afraid some crying might be involved. Especially if I'm to get any sleep. Any sugguestions? Thanks.
Hi Cindy,
I believe your son is a bit young to start "crying it out". He probably still needs to eat a few times during the night.
Since I started my kids sleeping in their own rooms right away, I'm not sure how many tears will need to be shed to get your son to sleep comfortably in his own crib. Some other moms may have better experiences to share with you.
Regarding how much crying is involved, it's more than 2 minutes, and I know that's tough for any mom
Like I mentioned above, it does get better, my kids never cried for more than 45 minutes, so I'm not talking 2 hours!
Good luck!!
I used the Babywise method for my son starting at about 8wks old and it was fantastic! My son was the same way until I was getting 1 hr of sleep at night because he would wake up every hour! Basically, you feed your baby then keep them awake and play with them for anywhere from 15-30 min, depending on your babe. Then put them down for the nap. There will be some crying and resistance at first, but this could save you in the long run! It took my son two days to catch on and get in sync with the new schedule and I went to 5-6 hours of sleep at night.
Good luck!
Babywise is not attachment parenting.
Crying it out is not AP and I will make sure to mention it to my mothers at my next Attachment Parenting meeting to avoid this site.
Crying out out has been recognized to cause brain damage and in Canada pediatricians say it is significant enough to be labeled child abuse and neglect.
Are you saying you will tell your friends to avoid Mothers Click because some moms have used the Babywise methods? I have read a lot of posts here on the subject, and I can say from what I've read that these are loving moms who have done their best to set up good early sleeping habits for their children, just as I have, right or wrong. I can also say, as a parent who has co-slept, that I can see both sides of the argument, and I have admitted to a few mistakes made in the whole sleeping game. I'm not wholesale sold on co-sleeping, or at least I would make some changes next time, though I would also not go to the other extreme. There are just as many articles/studies out there saying it is harmful to co-sleep as what you contend. I don't think there are any easy answers, but I also think books on both sides make it seem so, and that in turns seems to make some of us a little defensive about our choices. This site is a place for moms to share ideas and insights. I hope you will reconsider and try to see other moms' points of view before you dismiss this useful and fun site.
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sleep-forum
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sleep-forum and Tri-Counties Moms, http://www.mothersclick.com/moms-club/tri-counties-moms-sb-ventura-slo-c...
I agree completely with you, Patti. And EcoMaMa, if you're still out there, we all have ideas on how to raise our own children that don't always mesh with other parent's ideals. Just yesterday, I read an article that stated that Gwynith Paltrow's nanny, who has written a book on raising children, says that it's okay to give children candy to calm them down if they're throwing a tantrum. I completely disagree with that one, but I'm not going to cancel my subscription to the particular newsletter I read it from. There are many ways to parent, we, as parents, just have to find what's right for us. This site is designed to toss ideas around, not to demand you follow our advice. Just a thought from a mom who gets offended by people who get offended (jk)!
Anita Burnham
www.anitaburnham.com
Anita Burnham
www.anitaburnham.com