10 and a half weeks pregnant and HORRIFIED!!!

Crying face I am 24 and have been an orphan since I was 16. So needless to say I have no family around, of course my friends are great but no actual family support. My boyfriend comes from a really strict Catholic family, His brother is a MD and they are okay, But there is something wrong with him. He is almost 36, we have been together since October and in January I realized I was Prego.. At first I was okay b/c I was shocked and so was he, But now we have to find a place and get down to the nitty gritty and all we do is ARGUE. ARGUE. ARGUE. I am so tired of it. I cant get a straight answer out of him, all he seems to care about is his Infinity and going to the gym and I " Need to do what I need to do" What a jerk. So right now we split for a whle, but I really dont love him he drives me insane and I dont think hes ready... Heres a good summary..I feel that I have tried to talk to him many many many times and I cant get any real answers out of him .I went to get some clothes at his house and he HID IN THE BATHROOM for Gods sakes... 35 years old....He tells me Its only my fault that we argue and fight but when I ask him what he thinks about the situation or what he has to say he says I dunno , maybe possibly its up to you , depends on what you wanna do..... Obviously not a straight answer right????.. And then he says hes not givin me ADVICE either way cause, "If you get rid of it you'll blame me and If we end up unhappy, youll blame me," SO I SEE - hes the victim.. A 35 year old victim... He has said that he thinks hed be better with a kid than I and that I am not ready, which makes me think thats true too.. At any rate, I feel that I am really screwed either way cause not only do I not have a place to live but .....But why should I have to make evey single decision in this relationship alon.. I will be doin that for the next 18 years with this dope. So I am supposed to make all the decisions alone, but he says hell support me either way,. No he wont, he couldnt be less interested in having a kid especially not with me, I dont want to have to deal with him for the rest of my life im not sure anyone can thats why hes 35 and single... And acting 15 and like he got hid 16 yr. old girlfriend in a mess.... Should I keep it or not >??? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!

posted February 27, 2008 - 11:28pm

Comments

Erin Youngberg wrote 39 weeks 3 days ago

I think that this is a decision that only YOU can make. I was 25 when I had my first daughter and when she was 9 months old, i found out I was pregnate again. I'm married though, so that makes a difference. But either way, having kids is not easy. Do you have anywhere to go? I live in Pittsburgh, and there's a place called the Wagner House. They help out people who are in situations like you. Their website is: www.wagnerhouse.org I don't know if there is anything out in your area like this, but I hope this helps.
Erin Y.

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peteys mom wrote 37 weeks 4 days ago

yeah he is acting really imature an sounding like maybe he doesnt want to be involved! he needs to make time to have a straigh up convo. i think he feels trapped. so you need to figure out his intentions

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hallieluann wrote 36 weeks 1 day ago

Men are very difficult to understand. My husband approached fatherhood at arms length. Three kids later, he is finally finding his groove and he is 41. It sounds like you are in a really emotionally tense situation. My advise is to step away from your boyfriend, focus on yourself and your baby. Everything WILL be okay. Millions of women are able to do okay as single moms, so can you. There is a lot of help out there. You may have to look a little to find it.
We all make decisions that we have to live with. You decided to be involved with him, and the result is that you are pregnant. Now is the time to embrace the consequences and make up your mind to be the best person you can for your child. You will never love another like you will love your child. You may always have to deal with your boyfriend as the father of your child, and as such its important to do what you can to make peace for the child's sake. He is obligated to help out financially by law, so you know you will have that. Please don't be horrified. There are lots of options, including adoption if you feel you can't do it.
A child is a beautiful gift. If you decide to raise this child then, yes its very, very hard at times, but worth every minute. Be strong, be courageous.

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MilkyMommy wrote 36 weeks 23 hours ago

On a previous post of yours I never responded to your question but instead responded to a post by another member so here is what I had actually wanted to say to you. I was in your situation when I was about 21 or 22. I had been dating a guy who is Jewish and his family are devout Jews and only wanted him dating a *nice Jewish girl* which I am not. When he found out I was pregnant he was very upset. He wanted me to have an abortion and his family would call and harass me telling me I would ruin their son's life. I never asked him for a thing. I never put him on the birth certificate. My daughter is now 15 and she has never met her dad nor has he ever seen her. I only recently filed for child support from him and so far I have gotten support for the last 5 months. My daughter means the world to me and having her changed my life in a great way. It was me and her against the world! LOL! It made me grow up and become a better person. I do not regret ever for a moment having her. Smiley