10 and a half weeks pregnant and HORRIFIED!!!
I am 24 and have been an orphan since I was 16. So needless to say I have no family around, of course my friends are great but no actual family support. My boyfriend comes from a really strict Catholic family, His brother is a MD and they are okay, But there is something wrong with him. He is almost 36, we have been together since October and in January I realized I was Prego.. At first I was okay b/c I was shocked and so was he, But now we have to find a place and get down to the nitty gritty and all we do is ARGUE. ARGUE. ARGUE. I am so tired of it. I cant get a straight answer out of him, all he seems to care about is his Infinity and going to the gym and I " Need to do what I need to do" What a jerk. So right now we split for a whle, but I really dont love him he drives me insane and I dont think hes ready... Heres a good summary..I feel that I have tried to talk to him many many many times and I cant get any real answers out of him .I went to get some clothes at his house and he HID IN THE BATHROOM for Gods sakes... 35 years old....He tells me Its only my fault that we argue and fight but when I ask him what he thinks about the situation or what he has to say he says I dunno , maybe possibly its up to you , depends on what you wanna do..... Obviously not a straight answer right????.. And then he says hes not givin me ADVICE either way cause, "If you get rid of it you'll blame me and If we end up unhappy, youll blame me," SO I SEE - hes the victim.. A 35 year old victim... He has said that he thinks hed be better with a kid than I and that I am not ready, which makes me think thats true too.. At any rate, I feel that I am really screwed either way cause not only do I not have a place to live but .....But why should I have to make evey single decision in this relationship alon.. I will be doin that for the next 18 years with this dope. So I am supposed to make all the decisions alone, but he says hell support me either way,. No he wont, he couldnt be less interested in having a kid especially not with me, I dont want to have to deal with him for the rest of my life im not sure anyone can thats why hes 35 and single... And acting 15 and like he got hid 16 yr. old girlfriend in a mess.... Should I keep it or not >??? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!
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7 Answers
I think that this is a decision that only YOU can make. I was 25 when I had my first daughter and when she was 9 months old, i found out I was pregnate again. I'm married though, so that makes a difference. But either way, having kids is not easy. Do you have anywhere to go? I live in Pittsburgh, and there's a place called the Wagner House. They help out people who are in situations like you. Their website is: www.wagnerhouse.org I don't know if there is anything out in your area like this, but I hope this helps.
Erin Y.
Erin Y.
yeah he is acting really imature an sounding like maybe he doesnt want to be involved! he needs to make time to have a straigh up convo. i think he feels trapped. so you need to figure out his intentions
l russell
Men are very difficult to understand. My husband approached fatherhood at arms length. Three kids later, he is finally finding his groove and he is 41. It sounds like you are in a really emotionally tense situation. My advise is to step away from your boyfriend, focus on yourself and your baby. Everything WILL be okay. Millions of women are able to do okay as single moms, so can you. There is a lot of help out there. You may have to look a little to find it.
We all make decisions that we have to live with. You decided to be involved with him, and the result is that you are pregnant. Now is the time to embrace the consequences and make up your mind to be the best person you can for your child. You will never love another like you will love your child. You may always have to deal with your boyfriend as the father of your child, and as such its important to do what you can to make peace for the child's sake. He is obligated to help out financially by law, so you know you will have that. Please don't be horrified. There are lots of options, including adoption if you feel you can't do it.
A child is a beautiful gift. If you decide to raise this child then, yes its very, very hard at times, but worth every minute. Be strong, be courageous.
On a previous post of yours I never responded to your question but instead responded to a post by another member so here is what I had actually wanted to say to you. I was in your situation when I was about 21 or 22. I had been dating a guy who is Jewish and his family are devout Jews and only wanted him dating a *nice Jewish girl* which I am not. When he found out I was pregnant he was very upset. He wanted me to have an abortion and his family would call and harass me telling me I would ruin their son's life. I never asked him for a thing. I never put him on the birth certificate. My daughter is now 15 and she has never met her dad nor has he ever seen her. I only recently filed for child support from him and so far I have gotten support for the last 5 months. My daughter means the world to me and having her changed my life in a great way. It was me and her against the world! LOL! It made me grow up and become a better person. I do not regret ever for a moment having her.
Brandy Gillespie
bodywiseorganics@gmail.com
Brandy Gillespie
bodywiseorganics@gmail.com
Brandy Gillespie
bodywiseorganics@gmail.com
This sounds like a really hard situation and the clock it ticking. I have a two year old and some days I don't know how I would do it without my husband, but my son is also such a joy and he amazes me everyday. I think you need to look really hard at what you want and what you can handle on your own. I depend on my family and friends a lot mainly to keep my sanity but you will need help in this situation no matter what so if I were you I would check into your local resources and see what type of help is available. Don't forget to breathe, I'm sure you are feeling so overwhelmed right now but eventually everything will work out the way it is supposed to, have faith.
Brandy Gillespie
bodywiseorganics@gmail.com
sounds similar to my boyfriend. only im a christian and he doesn't believe in God, so thats a huge problem. my son is 10 months old now. we started dating in october and got our own apartment in january and found out that i concieved maybe the first week in february. he was not supportive at all. then when the baby was born he was very nice and now we have problems again. he is very controlling and mean. and he makes me feel worse about myself. but i will never regret keeping my baby. my boyfriend of course didn't say that he's be supportive he told me that i had to get an abortion and i said no im not doing that im having this baby with or without you and thats what i did. we're still together and have so many problems but i love my son and still think i made the right decision. im against having an abortion but i always loved children. But I also think it's the women's choice. If you want to keep the baby then just come up with a plan so that you can do so. Just let him know if you keep him/her and try to relax.