stepkids

I'm 22yr old,7mos pregnant,the mother of a 2yr old and the stepmother of 4,ages 4-18yrs.I have absolutely no help from the older kids or the their father.What can I do,i feel alone,did I take on too much at a tender stage in my life.How can i cope with rude,untidy stepkids?

posted April 18, 2007 - 4:54pm

Comments

TheMentorMom wrote 1 year 31 weeks ago

You are not alone, pronity! There are lots of others out there who are struggling to figure out how to make their blended family work. Too bad that for most of us (well, at least fossils like me), we compare all blended families to the Brady Bunch. They made it look so easy!

It has always been my recommendation to blended families that the primary disciplinarian must be the biological parent. Having said that, you and your husband need to be on the same page. If you have not already done so, I would have a sit down to discuss and establish some household rules as well as consequences for violations. I would also suggest that you and your husband make an agreement that, while he is the primary disciplinarian, you must agree mutually to consequences and that the children know this. Having done this, a family meeting is a great way to introduce the new household rules, etc.

Hang in there hon! I'm so glad that you have found MothersClick and have reached out for support. Motherhood is a sisterhood and you have found yourself a wonderful resource Smiley

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vashley wrote 1 year 30 weeks ago

I feel for you. I went from being single one day to have two step-children and a newborn and one year later a second newborn. We have a situation in which the step-children bounce back and forth from our house to their mother's house every couple of days. The step-children are 11 and 10 now and everybody but my husband absolutely hates the arrangements. The kids go from one set of rules to another, they lose things, and there is absolutely no consistancy in positive or negative reinforcement.

I've been doing this for 4 years now and things do get better. My husband and I went to a family counselor for a few months to have an outlet to vent our frustrations and come up with a good plan for communication, rules, and discipline. We learned a lot about how to deal with issues that blended families have and although we still have ups and downs things improved a lot. There are also groups for step-families to get together either online or in person to discuss various issues. We found one through a church (which we didn't belong to) and that really helped too. It was also free which may work out better than a counselor depending on your insurance situation.

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taylorblue wrote 1 year 23 weeks ago

Wow...poor girl. I know step families can be hard. But your husband has to realize that you need help too. He needs to join forces with you to get them to help. If he sees dad is in on it too they might help.

Have you talked to your husband about it??

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