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This is a mistake that many parents make.  It's just going to perpetuate the me behavior.  You should explain to him that this is his brother's special day and he will have a special day of his own when it's his birthday.  The behavior (if there is any at this point) will pass and all will be well, but you run the risk of him expecting something whenever there is a social event, not just his brother's birthday.  And then there's the older child.  I'm sure he says he understands, but it still hurts.  It should be his day and no one else's.   

Anita Burnham

Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations

This is a tricky age, isn't it.  I think if you do decide to give a gift to the child who's not having a birthday, you just have to make sure that it doesn't become a habit.  I would just prefer not to start so I won't have to fight it later on.  I also think that 2 is old enough to understand the basics if you explain it to him very simply.  Of course, include him in all the celebrations, just don't put too much emphasis on getting the gift BECAUSE it's the other one's birthday.  Of course, I only speak from older sibling experience (I am 32, but my brothers are 18, 22, and a sister who's 26.)  I was 14 when my youngest brother was born and just felt so bad for everyone else in the household when he was given everything his little heart desired.  My mom even went so far as to give my 22yo's stuff away to my 18yo brother whenever he wanted it, so I definitely come from the extreme situation here.  I do have an 8 month old and am not planning on another child for a couple years, but I hope I can look at things objectively if I ever experience the same thing.  Good question and responses.  Really got me thinking!   Thanks, Anita

Thanks for all the advice and input. My oldest son's birthday came and went about a week ago. We did opt to give our 8 month old a little something extra in his goody bag, even though he is too young to know the difference. He did not get to open his goody bag until all the guests were gone though. It was mainly for our 2 yo's benefit for when the younger brother's party comes around in a few months. Almost all of the birthday guests who came to our son's party had brought something for our baby anyways. But those were because most of our friends and family live away from us and most had not been up to visit since the baby was born. The extra gifts from my parents and sister were just to do their part to spoil their nephews and grandsons. We did not open up extra gifts for either child as part of the birthday party. We just hope to always be fair to each of our kids; although we don't want them to focus on the idea of getting gifts or that anyone owes them a gift. I appreciate the comments.

i don't know what happened. My page got lost and I didn't think it posted, so i tried to remember what i typed and repost. oops!

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Baby Gift Baskets

Happy Birthday to your son.
Giving something small and educational is alright. Children really do understand more than parents give them credit for. It is all in how it is explained to them. I feel that they need to learn that sometimes they can't always have what they want when they want it. Too much can sometimes be a problem when it is not apprciated. Bringing out toys or books that have been put away will seem like new each time it is brought out. Allowing them to play with everything all the time just creates a mess and overwhelming to the child.
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