Parents of Tweens and Teens
A safe place to connect with other parents on this journey through adolescence. Goal? To learn to make parenting choices that truly encourage the healthy social/emotional development of your sons and daughters.
46 Members
Club type:
Common Interest
Leader:
Annie_Fox
Created:
Sep 02, 2009
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Twelve year old suffering from separation anxiety. Started middle school. Help!
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8 Comments
Hi. Sounds bad. Is it really separation anxiety or is there perhaps something going on at school that she hasn't told you about yet? That age is when girls often start getting mean to one another and there can somtimes be one girl who is being left out or picked on. Have you noticed any change in her friendships? Anyway, I guess the first place to start is to ask her a lot of questions about school, her relationships with her friends, etc. to see if there's something that is causing her stress.
Patti
SAHM in SoCal and administrator of the Sleep Forum group, http://www.mothersclick.com/group/sleep-forum and Tri-Counties Moms, http://www.mothersclick.com/moms-club/tri-counties-moms-sb-ventura-slo-c...
I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is suffering in this way. School anxiety (AKA School Refusal Behavior) is a problem for a large number of students, most of whom are 12-18 years old. In fact, studies show that 5-28% of all student will experience some school anxiety at some point during their school lives. So your daughter is not alone and happily this is very treatable.
I just posted ,y podcast interview with Diane Peters Mayer, author of "Overcoming School Anxiety" and you should definitely have a listen.
http://anniefox.com/fc.html
Diane has been helping students and families with school anxiety issues for 18 years. She's great.
Annie Fox, M.Ed. author, educator, online adviser for tweens, teens, & parents
http://anniefox.com
I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is suffering in this way. School anxiety (AKA School Refusal Behavior) is a problem for a large number of students, most of whom are 12-18 years old. In fact, studies show that 5-28% of all student will experience some school anxiety at some point during their school lives. So your daughter is not alone and happily this is very treatable.
I just posted my podcast interview with Diane Peters Mayer, author of "Overcoming School Anxiety" and you should definitely have a listen.
http://anniefox.com/fc.html
Diane has been helping students and families with school anxiety issues for 18 years. She's great.
Annie Fox, M.Ed. author, educator, online adviser for tweens, teens, & parents
http://anniefox.com
I'm sorry to hear that your child is having anxiety issues. Middle school has got to be the hardest level for our kids, socially. My daughter is 11 and just started middle school too. She was very nervous the first few weeks, but seems to have settled in nicely. I wonder if your child is having trouble with peer pressure or bullying? It looks like you have received some helpful comments from some of the other 805 moms.
Doll-Clothes-Lady
I remember just hating middle school. The good news was that I loved being at home. I recall that I could not wait to get home after school where I felt safe.
Feel good that you are providing that safe haven for your child, it is so important.
Lisa
Lisa D'Ettorre-Liguori
Pure Mineral Makeup, Handcrafted Jewelry & More
Yes....and it is really overwhelming for the parent to watch as well.... :-(
Changes can be rough for a child.....keep your chin up....kids are tougher than you think and they will eventually adjust! ( sometimes easier than we do! )
Just be there for her....spend time with her! Watch a movie that she likes "together"...take in a concert together.... take her to a place where "she" likes to eat.
Parayers are with you!
Patricia
While I agree that a parent needs at times to "just be there" for a child who is dealing with fears, I also strongly recommend a professional evaluation. SOmething is going on and to assume that all children will "eventually adjust" may cause a parent to miss an opportunity to take a more pro-active approach with the help of a therapist, if need be. Again, I'd encourage staley_2310 to listen to my podcast interview with Diane Peters Mayer http://familyconfidential.com and check out her book "Overcoming School Anxiety."
Annie Fox, M.Ed. author, educator, online adviser for tweens, teens, & parents
http://anniefox.com
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Keep in contact with the School just to make sure your child has postive surrounding, if not try to help change them it could be something that makes her feel the way she does.