Fourteen months after giving birth, I can finally say that I am somewhat in the mood for sex. Sadly, hubby and I have only had sex 10 times since SWHS was born last April 27. In case you suck at math, that's less than once a month. There are a lot of reasons: exhaustion, limited time, and well, we have been fighting a lot. So, I have decided to make a list of things that DH can do to ensure that we have sex more often.

(1) Do laundry sometimes. I know that this is the last thing you want to do. I know that using the Wash and Fold was great. But, we are on a budget now and we, like many other families, have to do laundry. Doing laundry also means folding and putting the clothes away. I should not have to spend all day Sunday (by my self) with your parents doing laundry, watching the baby, and entertaining your parents.

(2) Stop using Mimi as an excuse for being a slug. Yes, sometime she is clingy. Sometimes she does require a lot of attention. But, when I manage to clean the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room (dusting and vacuuming), and cook dinner all while she naps, I don't want to hear that you could not make a doctor's appointment because she wouldn't let you. I know that you are full of shit and that makes you very unattractive.

(3) A little romance goes a long way. Try a bottle of wine sometime. How about cooking ME dinner sometime?

(4) Avoid letting your smelly gas out when sitting with me in the living-room. Go to the bathroom. I know we all fart. Sometimes, a good one is all that stands between totally discomfort and paradise, but we have known each other for 12 years. You should know by now that I hate to smell your gas. Doing it and then trying to get intimate is not my idea of foreplay.

(5) Help me feel sexy. You know I want to lose weight, so when I ask you to bring home one piece of chocolate, don't bring home three bags of it. It makes me think that you want me to stay fat and unhappy. Take an active role in my self-esteem. Help me feel better about myself, and I won't be so self-conscious.

(6) Make me feel like my opinions matter. This constant battle between doing things your way or mine is not healthy. I hate it in fact. no one like to feel like they are always wrong.

(7) When you go to the store to buy something for yourself, think about me. You were never selfish. Suddenly, you no longer care about what I like. And if you don;t care about me, why should I care about you?

( Stop bringing up sex. It's all you think about and it's annoying. You make it seem like an obligation; a job. I know it is a necessary part of a marriage, but it should be something we WANT to do not something we HAVE to do.

(9)Revisit the old ideas. Think back to our most sexual times. What happened? Did we spend time together doing fun things? We we out of the house more? Sex is more than just physical connections. It is about emotional and spiritual foreplay.

(10) Give me time to warm up. I need more than the "hit it and forget it" mentality. My body has been through a lot of changes. My sensitive areas are no longer sensitive and we both have to find new ones. Explore. It will do you good.

So, what's a deal breaker for you when it comes to sex?

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