When Mommy needs a break and Daddy is not enough....It break
When Mommy needs a break and Daddy isn't enough....It breaks my heart to hear my daughter crying because Daddy is taking her somewhere without Mommy. It hurts Daddy's feelings to hear his daughter tell him she doesn't want to be with him; she wants to go as a family. Sure she'll forget by the time they are at their destination and she is laughing and having fun, but no one enjoys the whining and crying for Mommy. For me, I listen to the whining and crying all week while Daddy is away and I feel so selfish to request a break from the family so I can rejuvenate today for the week ahead. So here I sit writing about the hardships of being a full time Mommy while listening to my three year old cry hysterically for me. Is it worth it for a small break? Will I be more patient next week because of the few hours I get alone? Will my children carry anger because I neglected their request when my husband was simply trying to help? Aren't these years so quick and won't I have lots of breaks when they are running outside with their friends, going out on dates and living lives s teenagers or parents themselves? Do I really have to put my children through this so I can have a small break to breathe without the responsibility of gathering snacks, fixing broken toys, creating the best craft ever, kissing boo boos, singing songs and clapping hands....do I really need that break?
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23 Comments
yes. Time to recharge helps us deal with all the upcoming mommy things. Plus the girls will have treasured memories of time spent with their daddy.
Yes, it's worth it. The whining and crying may be hard for you to hear, but you are right to think of it from your husband's standpoint....he has got to be really hurt when that happens. Maybe on other days your husband could take her for very small periods of time, like for a short walk, or out for an ice cream, handle bath time completely, etc. If you do it more often maybe your daughter will realize that you are still going to be there for her, but it's her "daddy" time. And if she acts up, ignore it and continue with the activity as if she is not throwing a fit. Rule of thumb with a toddler, if they throw a fit or whine, walk away. When they realize they aren't getting attention usually they will quit. If you're consistent you can break it for good. Don't look at it as "putting your child through this". You are building security and self-esteem that will pay off in the long run. You also need to think about this because soon they will be starting preschool/school. Deal with the seperation issue now with your husband's help, instead of waiting to deal with it when they are school aged. Hang in there, it does get better and in time your child's relationship with daddy will be strong. It just takes time. But YES, it is that important for you to get a break!!!
hi atozmommy, i saw your post as a featured blog and just wanted to give my support, we have all gone through this! it never hurts less! Its the heartstrings we have, and our children can give the tiniest of tugs that send the biggest waves of guilt! My three year old switches back and forth between my husband and I of who he loves and chooses to grace his presence with (LOL) now that we have a newborn (4 month old) the transition has been needless to say a challenge! We all need that break before we break! A happy mommy is a healthy mommy! You should not feel guilty about that small amount of time that you get away! When I get my breaks (from Moms Night Out or Yoga or even the grocery store) I always feel so much better when I see my family upon return! And FYI, there is a hormone in a mothers body that is released when she hears her child cry. This hormone makes you want to stop the childs cry as quickly as possible. So, there ya go! Its hormones and I know for sure that I have an over abundance of that one!! LOL My DH also says he must have that hormone too! Hope this helps and I hope that you feel better soon! Sounds like you are a wonderful mom! Good Luck and We are Always Here!
always amy
mama to Grayson and Cooper
always amy
mama to a madhouse
Grayson, Cooper and Adelaide
You are not being a bad mother by taking care of yourself 1st before your child. Their whining and crying will tug at your heartstrings. They will get over your temporary absence...don't worry too much about it.
Yes, it is worth it! Especially when your husband is gone all week! I know it is so hard for her, because he is gone all week and she only sees him on the weekends- but they need that time to bond alone just as much as you need those moments of sanity! I don't know how you do it- so sit back and relax and do something fun for yourself (don't you dare clean)!
Nancy
Nancy
I just wanted to say thanks for all the comments and support!
(F) Stephanie
i agree with all the responce we all need a break and they need the bonding time. i am a mom now but i remember feeling the same way your little girl felt but it helped so much in the long run because now i have a closer relationship with my dad
hugs!!! full time mommies need breaks as well.
I don't even know what to say about this. Our son is only seven months old and he as already begun crying when Daddy leaves the room. I think that it is because Mommy is home with him most of the week, and Daddy is working and going to school full time. So he gets really excited when he sees Daddy home, and when he leaves moments after coming home from school to go to work, it's hard for him. I can't believe he is already relating those emotions.
~Wife to David~ Married August 16, 2008
~Mother to Spencer Allen~ Born February 24, 2008
~Wife to David~ Married August 16, 2008
~Mother to Spencer Allen~ Born February 24, 2008