mureina makes me cranky

I am in the process of getting to the bottom of feeling like i have pmt constantly.
I have never really had mood swings or this anger i feel, It has been getting worse for the last year or so.
I had a mureina iud fitted when my boy way 16mths after breast feeding and went through a really weird nerve condition physically . i would jump and react so weirdly , then the up set of my cycle 3 weeks of a light brown flow and pmt for 2 weeks or so ? .
I asked doctors 'no it wouldnt be that' and have searched my past abuse (and had therapy that i can't afford but couldn't afford not to) ive searched and blamed my relationship with my partner my child father,my diet my habits, addictions(as i started smoking again lately) ,as i am alone raising my child and he was/ is copping my irrashinal anger, this needs to be solved.
I ama really natural forest living hippy, living self sufficeintly and woundered if im trying to do too much, or my diet i've been to so many doctors and herbalists, knowing that a constant bit of hormonal plastic in my cervix really isn't right.
I feel like im going crazy. I am angry and depressed, i dont like who i am now let lone searching amd bringing up child hood abuse all over again. so now on anti depressant which seem to work for a while, but still raging on the inside over silly incidents ?
Finally i wake up crying again , cant stop and do a search on google to look at side affects of the mureina only to discover there is mant women experiencing the same thing.
I am at point break and being a saturday (no docs open)and my birthday tomorrow i just want to get it out now myself.so i can stop being cranky and mean to my child.
I am so desperate i want to rip it out now, Im trying to call my nurse friend see if she can do it. I hate who i am and its really comforting to know that this isn't me,cause it doesnt feel like me. I am so happy to be a mum but i felt so wrong since the implant. so yayy im not alone, this is real , im not crazy,this isn't forever. Im over it !! get it out.
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